In my 19 traits of an empath video I discussed why it can be a challenge to figure out whether or not you are an empath. It’s partly due to the varying terminology, partly due to some of the characteristics listed being too vague and partly due to some of the traits being too specific. In that post I list out 19 characteristics that I feel better represent empaths than what you may have already found out there.
Photo by Paolo Nicolello
If you’re stuck in analysis-paralysis mode and are still having trouble understanding whether you are an empath or not, don’t worry! At the end of the day, it all boils down to one characteristic: do you feel others’ feelings.
Yes, empaths often have a wide array of other abilities as well. But each empath is different and having other abilities is not a requirement. If you don’t have any other “powers” don’t count yourself out of the empath pool. Don’t even count yourself out of having additional abilities because they could simply be dormant.
Some believe empaths tend to be shy. Some believe them to be introverted. Many likely are shy and introverted, but again, every empath is different. Being extroverted and confident doesn’t disqualify you from being an empath.
The only constant and commonality is that you feel others’ feelings.
So how do you know if you’re feeling others’ emotions? In my 19 empath traits video I went over a few of those signs so I recommend you watch that. You can do so here. But I’ll include some of the main signs here as well.
Feeling overwhelmed in crowded areas
We’ll start with the most well-known symptom of being an empath: feeling overwhelmed in crowded areas such as malls. If you felt fine before you walked into a crowded area, but then started feeling cranky, stressed, or overwhelmed in any way within a few minutes of being in that area, you are likely picking up on other people’s energy.
Most people do not manage their emotions well and are unbalanced. This not just an empath problem. Empaths have more to deal with because they aren’t just dealing with their own emotional spectrum, but this doesn’t mean they are the only ones who struggle. A lot of this has to do with people not constructively working with their shadow sides.
Because most people are emotionally out of whack or are in the midst of dealing with their pain and problems, a lot of the energy you are picking up on in these crowded areas is negative. When you are somewhere as crowded as a mall with hundreds of people, and each one has their own story, this can really bombard a sensitive person who isn’t prepared, aware or trained.
As a result, the jumble of varying negative emotions from hundreds of people will feel just like that – a jumble of negative emotions. This is what causes that stressed out, overwhelmed feeling in the empath. If you are struggling with this, or any of the other signs I mention, join my free, 5-day empath training and survival course to help you cope and find balance.
Emotional swings you can’t explain
When you are picking up on another person’s energy, you may feel one emotion one moment, but then suddenly a different emotion the next minute – and with no clear reason for why.
You may be feeling happy and at ease, just going about your day or your work, and then suddenly feel sad or stressed. But when you try to figure out what triggered this shift – was it a sad song you heard? A sad memory you were thinking about? A sad show you were watching? A sad book you were reading?
If you can’t figure out what triggered this shift in emotions, it may be that someone you are close to is feeling that sadness or stress. Please keep in mind that energy is what our entire world is made of. This means that you aren’t confined to only picking up on the emotions of those in your direct vicinity. You can pick up emotions from anyone no matter where they are in the world.
Chances are that when you feel these shifts in emotions, you are picking up on the emotions of someone you care about. You can validate this by reaching out to who you think it may be to see how they are doing. In most cases, whoever you are picking up on will reach out to you on their own and in your conversation, they will express what is going on with them.
In my 5-day free empath survival training course I have a lesson on how to better identify what emotions are yours and what emotions belong to others. Understanding this will make life much less confusing and put the power back in your hands to take control of your life again.
You agree to things you normally wouldn’t
When an empath really cares about someone, it can be hard for them to separate their needs and desires from that of their loved ones. This means that whatever their loved one desires, the empath wants to give (at least in moments when the partner is feeling emotions like excitement or despair). Until the empath becomes aware of this, this leads to the empath agreeing to do activities they would normally never do.
If you tend to participate in activities you don’t really like, but somehow you joyfully agree to, you may be picking up on a loved one’s excitement for the activity and mistaking it for your own. You may think this is a win-win situation. You may feel you are trying to be supportive of their interests. You are! It is wonderful to support each other in these ways.
In situations where the other person reciprocates by trying to take an interest in your activities, it most certainly is a win-win situation. But empaths tend to end up in narcissistic relationships. The thing about taking on someone else’s excitement is that it does wear off. It may wear off after a few minutes of doing the activity, once the activity is complete, or once you are alone and away from that person’s energy.
If you are with someone who doesn’t take a genuine interest in you or respect you or your boundaries, you may get trapped continuously doing things you don’t like with this person and never doing things together that you do enjoy. These relationships become one-sided and unhealthy very quickly. Being an empath is a gift, but it is a gift that should be shared with people who respect and appreciate it.
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So there you have it! Being an empath is really only defined by whether you pick up on or absorb other people’s energy/emotions. Picking up on energy that isn’t yours has many flavors, but the three I presented are the most relatable in my experience.