Early in my dating life, I had a hard time accepting money from my partners. I felt queasy when they bought me dinner or drinks. Often to relieve myself of that stress, I'd pick up the tab before they even had the chance. I didn't feel worthy of their, or anyone's, resources. This is strange considering I always made significantly more than my partners.
Of course, this feeling of unworthiness in love that I carried so deep within me manifested into break up after break up. It didn't matter if they thought I was worthy, because I didn't believe I was. And that spilled not only into dinner and drinks, but into feelings of unworthiness of being in the relationship itself! It took me a while to realize the root of this pattern. But once I did, everything changed.
Very soon after releasing this unworthiness pattern from my life, I manifested a partner who paid for everything. No matter how much I insisted, he always footed the bill. He once even bought me a $40 breakfast. While this was uncomfortable at first, and what I truly sought was a balanced partnership, this relationship allowed me to experience my worth and I was never the same again.
I had a series of relationships after this one, each one revealing other patterns I wasn't aware of, while also revealing other aspects of my worth. While what I was asking the universe for the entire time was my life-long partner, these relationships taught me that the journey is as important as the destination. For it is the journey that prepares us for the destination. And trust me, the destination is always worth it.
I am now very happily married to the man of my dreams. I wrote a list of qualities I wanted in a life partner many years before I met him. I am certain that when I come across that list again, my husband matches every one of them.
I still notice patterns in myself, and I work to release them as they surface. The journey continues. If you have been struggling on your own journey to manifest your life partner and would like me to help you uncover and release any patterns you may be holding that no longer serve you, book a session with me here. And keep your eye out for upcoming love block-releasing courses I will be launching!